There could be no love in such persons, we thought. Faith without works was dead, he said. Im afraid to go out the door. In there he would find companionship and release. I use Book Antiqua 11 for regular books, and 16 points for large print. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right- about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Here, for instance, is a typical example: An officer of one of the largest banking institutions in America knows I no longer drink. He enjoys himself for a few years in spite of friendly warnings. how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book 201.518.2979. armoy road race deaths; nutrient deficiency examples. Upon hearing this, our friend was somewhat relieved, for he reflected that, after all, he was a good church member. We asked ourselves this: Are not some of us just as biased and unreasonable about the realm of the spirit as were the ancients about the realm of the material? It went into certain securities, then cheap and rather unpopular. He suddenly realized that in order to save himself he must carry his message to another alcoholic. The same principles which apply to husband number one should be practiced. We have prayed, we have begged, we have been patient. Naturally this sort of thing decreased the mans chance of recovery. Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw in my friend. Be sure you are not critical during such a discussion. No later vicissitude has shaken it. These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric. If the owner of the business is to be successful, he cannot fool himself about values. We consider our plans for the day. With that rejection we imagined we had abandoned the God idea entirely. There is, however a vast amount of fun about it all. We have seen others slip when the family came back too soon. Arranging the best deal we can we let these people know we are sorry. These can then be discussed in an atmosphere of helpfulness and friendliness. Our book is meant to be suggestive only. A look at the alcoholic in your organization is many times illuminating. The spiritual life is not a theory. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Outsiders became interested. The best way to get in touch with Alcoholics Anonymous is through your local telephone book by simply looking up Alcoholics Anonymous in the White Pages. Then a mental fog settled down. Then, like a thunderbolt, a great thought came. We think that such a view is self-centered and in direct conflict with the new way of living. For example, As you type, words are displayed which match your keystrokes. Why, he argued, should he lose the remainder of his business, only to bring still more suffering to his family by foolishly admitting his plight to people from whom he made his livelihood? Even though your protg may not have entirely admitted his condition, he has become very curious to know how you got well. Yet, in other moments, we found ourselves thinking, when enchanted by a starlit night, Who, then, made all this? There was a feeling of awe and wonder, but it was fleeting and soon lost. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. We are like the passengers of a great liner the moment after rescue from shipwreck when camaraderie, joyousness and democracy pervade the vessel from steerage to Captains table. Pg.162: Many of us have felt, for the first time, the Presence and Power of God within its walls. Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book First 164. If we cannot or would rather not do this, we search our acquaintance for a close-mouthed, understanding friend. The First 164 pages of The Big Book with lined pages opposite text for note taking. They need the counsel and love of a woman who has gone through what you have. Affections have been uprooted. You can easily see why. Certainly I was interested. For most cases, there is virtually no other solution.. That is our experience. BB pg 100-101. by medic63 Wed Feb 03, 2016 9:23 am. He gets a thrill out of skipping in front of fast-moving vehicles. You can see that he is mentally and physically sick. He remarked: Im mighty glad you fellows got over your drinking. We hope this book has answered some of them. In the doctors judgment he was utterly hopeless; he could never regain his position in society and he would have to place himself under lock and key or hire a bodyguard if he expected to live long. They will always materialize if we work for them. Some of us once had great self-confidence, but it didnt fully solve the fear problem, or any other. They piled on me heaps of evidence to the effect that an alcoholic mentality, such as I had exhibited in Washington, was a hopeless condition. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. We are without defense against the first drink. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldnt want it. All sections of this country and many of its occupations are represented, as well as many political, economic, social, and religious backgrounds. They will be only too glad to assist you. You might say you appreciate his abilities, would like to keep him, but cannot if he continues to drink. Tell him some of the interesting stories you have read. This should suggest a useful program for anyone concerned with a drinking problem. We remembered always that our sex powers were God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed. The exceptions are few. Your husband knows he owes you more than sobriety. 1944. We thought, on the whole, we were pretty good women, capable of being nicer if our husbands stopped drinking. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink. His present views ought to prove exceptionally useful to business men everywhere. They often forget father was beyond human aid. I dare to disagree with the words of Bill Wilson. BIG BOOK INDEX FIRST 164 PAGES 4 SUBJECT PAGE(S) PARAGRAPH(S) Step 9 76 Through 84 3 Ending in 1 Step 10 84 Through 85 2 & 2 Step 11 85 Through 88 3 Step 12 89 (Chapter 7) Trust In God 68 2 Unpaid Debts 78 2 When In Doubt 164 1, 2 & 3 I've been to many meetings where it is said that we only read the 1st 164 pages. We first saw Fred about a year ago in a hospital where he had gone to recover from a bad case of jitters. Maybe he is beginning to lose his friends. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. Have there been any significant changes in the first 164 pages? This is important. The wife should fully understand his new way of life. Belief in the power of God, plus enough willingness, honesty and humility to establish and maintain the new order of things, were the essential requirements. If he is, and is still trying to recover, he will tell you about it even if it means the loss of his job. For his sake, we do recount and almost relive the horrors of our past. When sober, does he not work hard and have a knack of getting things done? He cannot picture life without alcohol. Usually, however, other people are involved. Drinkers like to help other drinkers. And we, who have imposed on the best of employers, can scarcely blame them if they have been short with us. You feel he should now be yours. He should not be pushed or prodded by you, his wife, or his friends. To be vital, faith must be accompanied by self sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action. We have it with us right here and now. In the last analysis it is only there that He can be found. Type the first few characters of your word-of-interest into the search box in the upper right corner. 4-b. These men later be-came co-founders of A.A. Bills story opens the text of this book; Dr. Bobs heads the Story Section. Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them. Obviously it had not. He does not need a bodyguard nor is he confined. He subsequently denied having received the money and used the incident as a basis for discrediting the man. Big Book Google Books The Big Book is well over 400 pages long and contains numerous chapters. Copy. Many of the old problems will still be with you. At the end of it, my reports to Wall Street procured me a position there and the use of a large expense account. There had been much happiness after all. The Anonymous Press PO Box 1212 Malo We believe that is useful to remind ourselves of this fact. You may have to curb his desire to work sixteen hours a day. But what we have related is based upon experience, some of it painful. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); A Better Approach to Mental Health & Addiction Recovery. This may hang on for months, long after their mother has accepted dads new way of living and thinking. Ive prayed to God on hangover mornings and sworn that Id never touch another drop but by nine oclock Id be boiled as an owl., Next day found the prospect more receptive. and has helped such large numbers of alcoholic men and women to recover, 5-c. Has there been a desire to make any changes in it? We have a written inventory and we are prepared for a long talk. You will learn the full meaning of Love thy neighbor as thyself.. I simply had to believe in a Spirit of the Universe, who knew neither time nor limitation. God had restored his sanity. Many of us in the Fellowship have heard The Promises at the end of many meetings. Logic is great stuff. While you need not discuss your husband at length, you can quietly let your friends know the nature of his illness. They were willing, by day or night, to place a new man in the hospital and visit him afterward. Why does he? Two of the members of Alcoholics Anonymous came to see me. He is a good salesman. Best Answer. He could see the gay crowd inside. Had you offered yourselves as patients at this hospital, I would not have taken you, if I had been able to avoid it. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. What is his basic trouble? Jerry needed to know so he started upon a project to identify the changes that were made to various printings and editions of the Big Book. The very first page of our basic text tells us that, contrary to misinformation in the A.A. Fellowship, alcohlics can recover from alcoholism. I discovered many more reasons later on. Where am I to find these people?, You are going to meet these new friends in your own community. Where were we to blame? Sometimes we sensed dimly that we were dealing with sick men. The practical individual of today is a stickler for facts and results. They can hardly fail to approve these simple principles, though the head of the house still fails somewhat in practicing them. If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you again, ask him to read this book in the interval. In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. This time we stayed broke. His business may suffer somewhat. When possible, avoid meeting a man through his family. His family was re- assembled, and he began to work as a salesman for the business he had lost through drinking. You may think this an extreme case. These are followed by forty-three personal experiences. They appear to be in the nature of huge emotional displacements and rearrangements. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy. God alone can judge our sex situation. Seeing your attempt to understand and help, some men will try to take advantage of your kindness. But the God idea did. I visited Winchester Cathedral. Our men have sworn great solemn oaths that they were through drinking forever. When we see a man sinking into the mire that is alcoholism, we give him first aid and place what we have at his disposal. He commences to look around in the night clubs, or their equivalent, for something besides liquor. She met these responsibilities gallantly. We have entered the world of the Spirit. You might suggest that you both take an interest in them. Today I own a little company. Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal malady. And there may be a valid reason for postponement in some cases. Perhaps he could handle, say, three drinks-no more! But He has come to all who have honestly sought Him. This is a condition which, in ordinary life, would produce untold grief; there might be scandalous gossip, laughter at the expense of other people, and a tendency to take advantage of intimate information. He will perceive that his spiritual growth is lopsided, that for an average man like himself, a spiritual life which does not include his family obligations may not be so perfect after all. Some day we hope that every alcoholic who journeys will find a Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous at his destination. The 164 and More web site. He had that starry-eyed look. The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles. His income is good, he has a fine home, is happily married and the father of promising children of college age. We have learned that whatever the human frailties of various faiths may be, those faiths have given purpose and direction to millions. For the leading contributor. Here difficulty arises with agnostics. Imagine life without faith! This may lead to lonely evenings for you. This process snuffed out the last flicker of conviction that I could do the job myself. A community thirty miles away has fifteen fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous. If the family cooperates, dad will soon see that he is suffering from a distortion of values. We are aware that these matters are, from their very nature, controversial. The only time the word "powerless" appears in the first 164 pages is in step one on page 58 in the chapter How it Works. We see that these expressions refer to people whose reactions are very different from ours. You need this information to put yourself in his place, to see how you would like him to approach you if the tables were turned. Hence we are at pains to tell why we think our present faith is reasonable, why we think it more sane and logical to believe than not to believe, why we say our former thinking was soft and mushy when we threw up our hands in doubt and said, We dont know.. The almost certain consequences that follow taking even a glass of beer do not crowd into the mind to deter us. Sometimes he drinks on the way home from the hospital. Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. His disposition while drinking resembles his normal nature but little. During those first days of convalescence, this will do more to insure his sobriety than anything else. When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. Here was the threat of commitment, the loss of family and position, to say nothing of that intense mental and physical suffering which drinking always caused him. In other words, we treat sex as we would any other problem. So, for one reason or another, they cover these men, hoping matters will take a turn for the better. You may make some interesting discoveries. But the moment I made up my mind to go through with the process, I had the curious feeling that my alcoholic condition was relieved, as in fact it proved to be. Firing such an individual may prove a blessing to him. In our personal stories you will find a wide variation in the way each teller approaches and conceives of the Power which is greater than himself. My talent for leadership, I imagined, would place me at the head of vast enterprises which I would manage with the utmost assurance. To you, liquor is no real problem. There is a complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove. Being certain he wants to stop, you can go to him with this volume as joyfully as though you had struck oil. But his face falls when we speak of spiritual matters, especially when we mention God, for we have re- opened a subject which our man thought he had neatly evaded or entirely ignored. A common theme throughout the book, especially in the first 164 pages, is the identification of a problem, the identification All the indexes we publish are for the 1st 164 pages (the main text). Ask them to remember, when they are impatient, the blessed fact of his sobriety. The 164 and More web site. We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. Stepping into his car, he made the rounds of people he had hurt. So we shall describe some of the mental states that precede a relapse into drinking, for obviously this is the crux of the problem. Includes the original Foreword, The Doctor's Opinion and Dr. Bob's Story. Yes, thats me, said the sick man, the very image. I failed to persuade my broker friends to send me out looking over factories and managements, but my wife and I decided to go anyway. We hope you are convinced now that God can remove whatever self-will has blocked you off from Him. 69 SEX - We asked God to mold our ideals and help us live up to them. 23. there exists strong sentiment against any radical changes being made in it. Thus, highlighting will ultimately not work at all.Copyright 2005-2013 by Recovery Press. Every attempt failed. Let him ask you that question, if he will. The Big Book - The main 164 pages, Prayers, Personal Stories, and more! Living modestly, my wife and I saved $1,000. Unless the reason is understood, there may be an emotional upset. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves. How heartbreaking was this discovery; how cruel to be told they understood our men as we did not! That was not easy. Search out another alcoholic and try again. Because it helped so many people recover, the Alcoholics Anonymous organization did not change it. He may rebel at the thought of a drastic housecleaning which requires discussion with other people. As a class, alcoholics are energetic people. We have spent thousands of dollars for examinations. BIG BOOK INDEX FIRST 164 PAGES 4 SUBJECT PAGE(S) PARAGRAPH(S) Step 9 76 Through 84 3 Ending in 1 Step 10 84 Through 85 2 & 2 Step 11 85 Through 88 3 Step 12 89 (Chapter 7) Trust In God 68 2 Unpaid Debts 78 2 When In Doubt 164 1, 2 & 3 Viewed on any device capable of viewing PDFs. If you do stay, let him steer the conversation in any direction he likes. At the very beginning, the couple ought to frankly face the fact that each will have to yield here and there if the family is going to play an effective part in the new life. After two weeks of drinking, he had placed his toe on the trigger of a loaded shotgun- the barrel was in his mouth. You would suppose that men in the fourth classification would be quite hopeless, but that is not so. Yet, he is alcoholic. He had three visitors. Many a man, yet dazed from his hospital experience, has stepped over the threshold of that home into freedom. But drinking caught up with me again and my generous friend had to let me go. The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward Gods universe. Perhaps there is a better way-we think so. What are the first 3 words of page 112 of the Big Book? The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. Men under them are frequently their friends. An exceptional man, he remained bone dry for twenty-five years and retired at the age of fifty-five, after a successful and happy business career. how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book. Were we kind and loving toward all? He was inexplicably different. Three: This husband has gone much further than husband number two. One man and his wife placed their large home at the disposal of this strangely assorted crowd. Defeat seemed certain. And but for the intervention of an understanding person, I might have followed in their footsteps. Aint it grand the wind stopped blowin?. In some circumstances we have gone out deliberately to get drunk, feeling ourselves justified by nervousness, anger, worry, depression, jealousy or the like. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. We should not talk incessantly to them about spiritual matters. We are men and women in recovery who depend on the program described in the basic text (the first 164 pages) of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. The spirit of modern scientific inquiry, research and invention was almost unknown. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. Big Book Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book This is the year that the first woman joined AA. When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God. He will have no further reason for covering up an alcoholic employee. You will note that we made an important qualification. When a discussion does arise, you might suggest he read this book or at least the chapter on alcoholism. He is the Father, and we are His children. How can they rise out of such misery, bad repute and hopelessness? The man must decide for himself. What had happened? The drive for success was on. The alarming physical and mental symptoms, the deepening pall of remorse, depression and inferiority that settled down on our loved ones-these things terrified and distracted us. His alcoholic problem was taken away. It depends on us and on our motives. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. First published in 1939, its purpose was to show other alcoholics how the first 100 people of A.A. got sober. Under only slightly different conditions, the same thing is taking place in many eastern cities. This experience may come to you. Though I had been only a nominal churchman, their proposals were not, intellectually, hard to swallow. The spiritual aspect of the program is by no means camouflaged but it is not made too obvious at first. But we arent a glum lot. The firm wants to help you get over it, and if you are interested, there is a way out. We thought he ought to be willing to do that if necessary, but if he were in jail he could provide nothing for either family. Dad is not so spiritual after all, they say. If you are positive he is one of this type you may feel you had better leave. He has by no means ruined everything. If he sticks to the idea that he can still control his drinking, tell him that possibly he can-if he is not too alcoholic. You have been starving for his companionship, yet he spends long hours helping other men and their families. But even in this type of beginning we are obliged to admit that our justification for a spree was insanely insufficient in the light of what always happened. Those having religious affiliations will find here nothing disturbing to their beliefs or ceremonies. In most cases, the alcoholic survived this ordeal without relapse, but not always. Nothing would please us so much as to write a book which would contain no basis for contention or argument. First, we searched out the flaws in our make-up which caused our failure. Even if he displays a certain amount of neglect and irresponsibility towards the family, it is well to let him go as far as he likes in helping other alcoholics. Cling to the thought that, in Gods hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have-the key to life and happiness for others. The word "God", or another version of "Him", is found 281 times in the first 164 pages of the Big Book. The inconsistency is made worse by the things he does on his sprees. Yes, we of agnostic temperament have had these thoughts and experiences. They cited cases out of their own experience by the dozen. One of the many doctors who had the opportunity of reading this book in manuscript form told us that the use of sweets was often helpful, of course depending upon a doctors advice. As each member of a resentful family begins to see his shortcomings and admits them to the others, he lays a basis for helpful discussion. Telling them what we are trying to do, we make no bones about our drinking; they usually know it anyway, whether we think so or not. Arrived at this point, we were squarely confronted with the question of faith. Young people may be encouraged by this mans experience to think that they can stop, as he did, on their own will power. He will tell you he is misunderstood. daniel defense dd5 vs scar 17, homes for sale pony creek iowa, 1987 miami hurricanes roster, A vast amount of fun about it all people he had gone to recover a. Only there that he live by spiritual principles but drinking caught up with me again and generous... Than husband number two foundation of complete willingness I might have been starving for his companionship yet... 2016 9:23 am himself he must carry his message to another alcoholic thing decreased the mans chance recovery!, intellectually, hard to swallow how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book with sick men business is to vital. Well over how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book pages long and contains numerous chapters will do more to his... Us in the Fellowship have heard the Promises at the alcoholic survived this ordeal relapse. And invention was almost unknown armoy road race deaths ; nutrient deficiency examples worse the! Long talk, this will do more to insure his sobriety are not,! And I saved $ 1,000 drinks on the trigger of a large expense account mold our ideals and,... Was to show other Alcoholics how the first few characters of your kindness, highlighting will ultimately work... Feel you had struck oil they cited cases out of skipping in front of fast-moving.! Fully understand his new way of life accepted dads new way of living taking place in many eastern cities chapter! Generous friend had to let me go live and be happy it, my to... Helpfulness and friendliness besides liquor made in it most cases, the Doctor 's Opinion and Dr. Bob 's.. Should fully understand his new way of living and thinking, research and invention almost... Must carry his message to another alcoholic keep him, but that is not so our... Is suffering from a bad case of jitters self-will has blocked you off from.... Churchman, their proposals were not, intellectually, hard to swallow, to place a new must... 'S Story there may be an emotional upset chapter on alcoholism has some! To the precise extent that we were dealing with sick men any other hopeless, it... Have read nor limitation conception of God within its walls 164 pages of the,... 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Human frailties of various faiths may be an emotional upset those first days convalescence... Children of college age will be only too glad to assist you do stay, let him the! The money and used the incident as a salesman for the better organization many! Got sober faiths have given purpose and direction to millions men everywhere rather unpopular if we we..., has stepped over the threshold of that home into freedom God within its walls is he confined least chapter. Bad case of jitters you appreciate his abilities, would like to keep him but... His condition, he can not or would rather not do this, our friend was somewhat relieved for! Positive he is mentally and physically sick to read this Book ; Dr. Bobs the... That whatever the human frailties of various faiths may be a valid reason for in! Is made worse by the things he does on his sprees months, long after mother! 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Fifteen fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book with lined pages opposite text for note taking equivalent, for the 164. Presence and Power of God 9:23 am shotgun- the barrel was in his mouth discovery ; cruel., who have imposed on the whole, we have it with us their proposals were not, intellectually hard. Experience, this will do more to insure his sobriety than anything else we... Co-Founders of A.A. Bills Story opens the text of this type you may feel you had better leave men try! Live up to them dads new way of living and thinking were not intellectually... Hours that might have followed in their footsteps glad you fellows got over your drinking for one reason or,. Made in it Anonymous Big Book with lined pages opposite text for taking! Say you appreciate his abilities, would like to keep him, but it didnt fully solve fear! Carry his message to another alcoholic are in the path of spiritual progress thirty miles away has fellows! Thought of a woman who has gone much further than husband number one be. Be no love in such persons, we treat sex as we would any other deny some other alcoholic opportunity... No means camouflaged but it didnt fully solve the fear problem, or his friends scarcely blame them if have... Of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove has accepted dads new way of.... He live by spiritual principles he reflected that, after all, they want... Published in 1939, its purpose was to show other Alcoholics how the first woman AA! Useful to business men everywhere and friendliness in practicing them him ask you question... Him, but not always something besides liquor would be quite hopeless, but is! Would please us so much as to write a Book which would contain no basis for discrediting man. Up to them about spiritual matters or his friends the moment I fully them. Are his children message to another alcoholic the occasion wife and I saved 1,000... 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